2019-05-15

an empty can / pusta puszka

an empty can
rolling across the street
my insomnia

pusta puszka
toczy się po ulicy
moja bezsenność

Haiku Dialogue: What’s at Hand Week 16 theme: an empty can 15.05.2019

comment by Pat Davis: The thing that struck me right away about Marta’s haiku was that it could be read with a break after Line 1 or Line 2 !

Comment by Alan Summers: Great last line ‘my insomnia’ and the decision to make it that last line really works well!
I love how the middle line isn’t designed to be a pivot line but it has the same effect on this reader (me)!
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But because there is no overt or telegraphed pivot line, the haiku is so much more powerful, than a comparison technique of comparing one thing against another.
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If there is ever an anthology out of the work posted by KJMunro and Craig Kittner, this is a definite one to be in there!
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